“If I have inside me the stuff to make cocoons, maybe the stuff of butterflies is in there too.” Trina Paulus
This book tells the story of personal transformation. It is beautifully written. The authors shares the importance of divine waiting, living with questions, and trusting in God.
In the past few years, I have had my own reckoning with “why” and “who am I now” and “can life really do this to me” and “how much more”. Though I had several circumstances come in to initiate the questioning, mid-life can do that to us as well. The author talks about our discomfort living with the questions in a world where certainty is seen as a strength, an intelligence almost. In reality, living with the questions allows us to sit with them, allows the answers to unfurl, allows us to take time and explore – to be uncertain and to be okay with that uncertainty. Sitting with the questions is truly vulnerable – opening yourself up to the unknown; and, vulnerability is a strength for sure.
The author uses the image of the darkness of the cocoon and eventually the wobbly wings of a butterfly. Darkness can be viewed as something scary, even evil. Kidd challenges us to see this darkness as a time not of loneliness or feelings of abandonment, but as a time with God. He is right by our side the entire time – we are not alone. He is there as we become our most authentic version of ourselves for the time.
And He is there as we emerge with our new, wobbly wings and take flight truly transformed. Our transformation is not likely over. We are simply becoming more and more of the true self that He intended.
As I read this book over many months, I had several aha moments. This book brought me peace as I continue to search for my wobbly wings. And, as Kidd points out, our journey through transformation is not always easy for those close to us. I am grateful for those who continue to show up, to support me where I am.
I love the quote from the last chapter – the one I begin with in this post. The answer is yes – brave the darkness of the cocoon and the waiting, for you are made of the stuff of butterflies ready to emerge new and wonderfully transformed.
