Failure – Friend or Foe?

I was on a call today and much of the focus was on failure and the necessity of failure to success. Then I opened up LinkedIn and found the above quote from Arianna Huffington.

When I read the quote it makes me think of the way I approached relationships in the past. I felt that if I chose wisely and made 100% sure of the person’s feelings before letting down my guard and going all in, then I would be safe…..I wouldn’t get hurt. Was I ever wrong! The reality is that we cannot control the feelings of another person ever…we don’t know what may change so we have to choose to go all in or just simply miss out altogether.

Fast forward to my career path – this has been an area that seemed more in my control. I work hard and do my best and I am rewarded with well-deserved promotions. I have an excellent track record and am well-respected in my field – I continue to grow in my career. However, work relationships are really no different than personal relationships. People are in control and we have no control over people and the decisions they make. Someone can come in and change your trajectory forever.

What matters most is not the change in the relationship but what we learn from it and how we choose to handle it. Sometimes divorces can destroy people and they never recover…they never put themselves out there again. The feel unloveable and go down the path of “will I ever be happy again?” With my departure from the company where I grew up professionally, I could choose to see that as failure, to get swept up in shame storm of losing my job! Or I could choose to move beyond that fear and pick myself up again and again….and it is a continual picking myself up. It is a daily choice. And the choice changes as I grow and move forward. One day it may be the choice to just get up and get dressed. Another day it may be the choice to submit resume after resume. Another day I make the choice to reach out to people I know and ask for help (that is a whole entry on its own)…to network…to ask them who they know. Another day it is the choice to laugh and find joy in my cup of coffee in the morning and the music playing while I cook and dance in the kitchen in the evening. The choices changes but it is always a choice! And I simply cannot choose fear and neither can you!

So I will choose to substitute the word change for failure….make change your friend starting today!