I think the phrase in my title may have come from Brene Brown. Have you ever had a vulnerability hangover. Are you asking yourself, “what is she talking about?”
Vulnerability, that act of being real and authentic, showing your true self….it is the hard stuff! It is hard to take off the armor and let people see the real you. And, yes, they should earn the right to see the real you.
I have always thought I need to keep it together, to be strong, to be the person people think I am. What does that even mean? And how do I know who people think I am? As it turns out, what we put out there is usually close to who people think we are. And it can be exhausting!
I used to equate being vulnerable with being weak….so many of us have felt that way and maybe still do. Now I see that vulnerability is actually strength. It takes strength and courage to show someone the real you – the one with the bruises, the one who has fallen down and didn’t always want to get up, the one who is heartbroken over missing a friend, the one who doubts herself, the one who has insecurities. It is easier to put on a happy face and act as though you are great….even when deep down you aren’t.
Why do we do this? Why do we fight so hard to put on this armor. Do we believe that it will somehow protect us? It will not protect us at all. We will still get hurt and feel the feelings…but with the armor we feel the feelings all alone because we don’t let anyone know. And that really stinks!
I have been working really hard on this vulnerability thing for years!!! I move forward and then slide back into my old habits and then move forward again. Most often, when sharing my true self, I learn something I didn’t know about my friend or family member as well. They become vulnerable with me. It is a beautiful thing to experience. And even more beautiful is when that person comments about something and shows that they truly know you! Being vulnerable allows your whole self to be seen and understood. And what do we all really want in this world…to be seen and to be understood.
I have had mornings where I wake up with a “vulnerability hangover“. Did I share too much? Was I too much? Was I too vulnerable? Did things get too real? I have to stop and pat myself on the back for sharing. Yes, it is scary to be real and put yourself out there. You feel naked and exposed. But you also feel free.
No, I have not always been vulnerable. I like vulnerable me, but I am still getting used to her.
This is one of my favorites. Thanks for sharing!